BACK TO LIFE

This Life has a lot to answer for - namely persuading me to embark on an ill-advised law degree on the misguided assumption that it offered a passport to a life of intoxicating hedonistic excess soundtracked by the first Marion LP. Nevertheless, the prospect of the series returning next month for a one-off tenth anniversary special is a genuinely mouthwatering one.

Countless lazy and witless imitations have not quite managed to cheapen the legacy of what was the definitive Britpop-era drama.
Early indicators for the new episode aren't altogether promising: they've bumped off Ferdy in order to engineer a somewhat contrived reunion ("If it's AIDS I'm throwing stuff at the TV," remarked my friend Simon) and most of the action takes place in Miles' country manor estate - conjuring unwelcome images of ghastly toff flick Peter's Friends. But as Christmas telly goes, it's gotta beat Dragon's Den: kids' special or Richard Hammond's alternative Christmas message.

A WORLD WITHOUT DAVE

The hostile reception to Sion Simon's Web Cameron YouTube spoof was indicative of the mystifying bubble of sycophancy currently surrounding everyone's favourite hoodie-hugging reformed gakhead. I've always been suspicious of cuddly One Nation Tories (at least pantomime villains like Norman Tebbit were self-styled draconian monsters) but David Cameron's touchy-feely brand of everyman populism is particularly risible. Hilariously, Dave cites his favourite album as The Queen is Dead by the Smiths, but admits to finding its author's militant vegetarianism and anti-royalist sentiments 'troubling'. Presumably he regards the lyrics to Margaret on a Guillotine ("When will you die?") as a riotous laugh too.

If, as seems depressingly inevitable, Cameron becomes PM, expect him to eventually be despised for the very same qualities he's currently championed for a la Blair. And expect the illiberal, socially regressive Tory Party, with its vehemently anti-youth, anti-hedonism and anti-arts agenda, to quickly reawaken from its slumber...