So yeah, given all the hype generated by this Radio 1 campaign to get Malcolm Middleton's curmudgeonly 'We're All Gonna Die' to Christmas No.1, it's somewhat inevitable the single will limp in at #7 or something come Sunday's chart rundown.
This may not be such a bad thing: the campaign's being backed by a roll call of mediocrity which includes Zane Lowe, Colin Murray, Edith Bowman and Dick & Dom. Can you even begin to imagine how smug that lot would be if they succeeded? We'd be hearing about it until next Christmas at the very least.
All the same, it does make me nostalgic for a time before Simon Cowell and his weaselly cohorts conspired to ruin the annual race for Christmas No.1 forever.
My favourite Christmas No.1 doesn't actually mention Christmas at all. Instead, it's a fantastically irreverential electro-pop cover of a hackneyed Elvis standard by my favourite singles band of all time. Here it is in its extended six-and-a-half minute glory.
Other great Christmas songs which don't mention Christmas:
A Spaceman Came Travelling - Chris De Burgh
(It's an allegory. The spaceman's actually Jesus. Clever, eh?)
Stay Another Day - East 17
(About suicide, allegedly. It does have sleigh-bells on though.)
Only You - Yazoo
(Immortalised in the denouement of The Office Christmas Special.)
The Power of Love - Frankie Goes to Hollywood
(Synonymous with sexual failure at school Christmas discos.)
Caravan of Love - The Housemartins
(Heaton, Cook et al go Barbershop quartet. Awesome.)
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